I’ve just watched my uni house mate walk out the door ready to go home for the summer, but later to return back to start her third year. Me on the other hand, I’ll be walking out that door and will not be coming back. I’m not just saying goodbye to my house, I’m saying goodbye to being a student, to University, to dossing about and chilling on the weekdays (unheard of in the adult world). It’s time to stop procrastinating and getting drunk on wicked wednesdays. It’s time to start looking, to start thinking and to start planning. Shit, does this mean I’m an adult?
When do you even become an adult?, I know people in there 50’s who still see themselves as not grown up, I have friends with houses and kids who still don’t feel like an adult. I always thought adulthood, was the time you got a full time job. But then does this make some 16 year olds adults?- I don’t want to be an adult. I am at that time in my life where nothing is quite clear, where I have no direction, no purpose and no energy to start my adult life. Yes it might have sounded fun and exciting when you were younger, you wish the years away. But if I am now an adult, adult life sucks!
What do I want to do in five years time?, I have no flippin idea. The reality is, that if this is adulthood.. it’s so hard already. I mean we thought being a kid was hard when you had to pick who you wanted on your dodgeball team, or when your crush still hasn’t replied on msn. Adult world is different than student world. No safety net when you’re walking on those stilts. No parents to pay your mortgage let alone your phone bill. I have come to terms sort of, I’ve realised I need a job. Any old job will do! Yet I haven’t realised that I am not going to be coming back to University. I can no longer scrounge off my parents, live with my friends and stay in bed with ben and jerry (the ice-cream of course). This rant may sound depressing, so apologies for that. But the transition from graduate to adult is a transition I still feel uneasy and unready for.
The idea of moving back home, of no hand outs and no housemates to cheer you up after a rotten day is a world away from where I want to be.